39 Going on 80

I'm starting to feel old. Yes, I am aware that I am barely into the "midlife" years and not yet 40, but I feel old.

And grouchy.

What's making me feel old these days? A number of things really. Not really the aches and pains in my knees or back because I've been dealing with those for years. Not the fact that the vast majority of my friends are all in their 40s because I don't consider 40 old. And I know full well that in years to come, I'll be kicking myself for wasting time feeling this way while I was so young. But I'm telling you, I still feel old.

It's little things.

It's the fact that I drive a mini van and I love it. I love a mini van?

It's avoiding the lobby in the library like the plague between 3:30 and 5:00 because I just don't want to deal with all the middle school and high school kids that hang out there. I swear, if I had a cane I'd be waving it at them and yelling "get off my lawn."

It's planning summer vacation in March because I have to figure out what my kids are going to do all day while I'm at work (besides drive their grandparents nuts) instead of planning a fun summer vacation for myself.

It's going to a show at a theater I love and thinking to myself during a burlesque number that "She should really have more clothes on and I hope her parents didn't come to this show."

It's the sad truth that although I have always been an "early to bed, early to rise" kind of gal, I frequently go to bed by 9:30.

It's knowing I can't handle the noise level of my own kids most days and always telling them to be quiet.

It's understanding the appeal of mom jeans because of my tummy pooch. And don't worry, I haven't given in to mom jeans yet.

It's knowing that some of my favorite things to eat no longer agree with me and I have to plan when I can eat them, knowing I'll pay for them later.

Maybe I just have the winter blues. Maybe I just need to get off my behind and exercise, or at least start - again.  Maybe I need someone to call me "Miss" instead of "Ma'am." Maybe I need a stranger to flirt with me, at least a little, so I still feel like I can be invited to the party even if I don't want to go.

Now someone hand me my bifocals.