Nagging Thought

You know how it is when you just have something nagging at you? When it just keeps replaying in your mind and it won't go away?  I'm kind of dealing with that right now.

As I mentioned, the school festival was last weekend and Duane and I spent most of the time running a game. For the last 45 minutes or so, a boy was hanging out at our booth "helping" us.  We both kind of know this kid since he is in one of our boys classes and in his scout den. I'll be honest, this kid is not my favorite kid on the planet. He's rubbed me the wrong way all year. Really, he's kind of a jerk to other people, especially in scouts despite his dad attending meetings with him, but I try to be nice to him. After all, I'm a grown up.

Towards the end of the school festival the principal starting announcing the raffle winners. This kid mentioned to Duane and I that he had put his name in for a couple of raffle items.

"I think I heard them call your name when I was in there," Duane told him. "You and your dad might want to go check."  We know his dad from scouts and had seen them walking around the festival together earlier.

"I don't know where my dad is," Kid told us. I wasn't too surprised by this since he had been hanging out with us for so long.

"Well, I'm sure he's around here somewhere," I said with a smile.

Kid looked out to the parking lot and scanned the parked cars. "I don't see our van anymore," he said flatly. "He probably left me here and went home."

It was weird because Kid didn't seem upset, just matter of fact.

I tried to laugh it off, "Now, I'm sure you're dad wouldn't leave you here by yourself."

"Yes, he would," Kid said again in a flat, emotionless voice. "He hates me."

"Your dad does not hate you," I told him.

"Yes, he does," the kid said, again with no feeling. Then he wandered off to check on his raffle prize.

I know Kid and his dad found each other before the festival ended and I know they left together, but the whole thing left me feeling....off.  Does this kid really, honestly believe his dad hates him? It seemed like he does and it broke my heart.

Like I said, I am not this kid's biggest fan by any stretch, but I know that his dad brings him to scout meetings and special events. Heck, he brought him to a school festival on a weekend. And yet, it really seemed like Kid believed his dad doesn't love him.

I have the hardest time wrapping my head around that. There are times I don't exactly like my kids, but those times are short lived. I love them desperately and they know that. I know they do. Even when we are mad at each other, and voices are being raised and doors are being slammed, they know they are loved.

Yes, I know there are kids out there who don't experience unconditional love from a parent or any other adult in their life. I know there are kids who suffer physical and emotional abuse, or who are homeless, or friendless. I know that my kids are some of the lucky ones. I just wish all kids could be so lucky. It's what they deserve.

Love My Boys

By some weird turn of events, the weather has been absolutely lovely for soccer practices the last two nights. I have a hard time just sitting through the practices, so I have taken the opportunity to walk through the park both nights - one night with Ryan joining me for part of the time and one night with my Wes Paul. 

Ryan was perfectly happy to hang out on the bike path near the river and throw sticks into the water.

Wesley donned his skates for our evening in the park and we hit the bike trails together. I just got such a kick out of him in his neon shirt and his aviator shades. He's growing up so fast.

How did I get so lucky as to be able to call these kids mine?

A Mom By Any Other Name

Wesley and one of his school friends have made up their own language and Ryan likes to listen in, so I'm getting used to not understanding half of what comes out of my children's mouths. I like to think of it as preparation for when they become teenagers. Most days I just kind of tune the jibberjabber out, but yesterday Ryan was pointing at me and insistently calling out "W.B.E."

After a few minutes of this, I turned to Ryan and asked, "What's W.B.E.?"

He grinned the biggest, more impish grin and said, "You are! It's World's Best Ever!"

What a compliment! And it isn't even Mother's Day yet. 

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama.

I did not wake my husband up one morning and ask him to go get me breakfast. And the breakfast I was craving certainly wasn't a Sausage McMuffin with Egg from the Golden Arches.

I did not see a dress online and think "Oh! That's really cute!" only to discover it was a maternity dress.

I did not decide to stay in bed instead of getting up to walk one weekend morning. Even if I did, there's no way I still surpassed my step goal for that day thanks to the school festival I worked at.

 I did not spend a great deal of time pondering whether or not any of the beer I had in my fridge would go with pancakes on a night we were having breakfast for dinner.

I know I didn't let Duane deal with the nasty clean up after Wesley vomited in the bed, and just grabbed a blanket and bunked with Ryan instead so I wouldn't have to endure the smell. Not me. 

Bragging On My Kid

Hey, I'm allowed to. It is my blog after all.

Yesterday after the school festival one of the special education teachers from Wesley's grade called out to me, "Wesley's mom! I wanted to tell you something!"

I don't this teacher well. I mean, I know she teaches at the school, but that's about it.

"Uh-oh," I replied.

She laughed, "Oh no. It's good."

She went on to tell me that on Friday all the third grade classes (typical and special education) got together to make cards for some of the staff members. According to this teacher, when the classes combine, as they frequently do, what tends to happen is that the "typical" kids work in one part of the room and the special education kids tend to work on the other side with very little interaction between them. She told me that during this time, Wesley noticed that no one from his typical class was sitting with any of the special education kids, so he gathered his materials and moved to a table with some kids he doesn't sit with in class every day.

"It just came so naturally to him," she told me. "He didn't make a big deal out of it, he just noticed that no one was sitting with them and he decided to change that. He knows how to be good friend to everyone."

Let me tell you, my heart melted a little bit right then. It was exactly the kind of thing a parent wants to hear about their child.  I love that boy!

The Cat Toy Mystery

We have three cats in our house, so we have a lot of cat toys. I try to keep them in the kitty condo when they are not being played with.

See how much nicer that looks than spread out all over the floor?

For the last week or so, I have had to walk through a veritable mine field of cat toys every morning when I get out of bed, despite putting the toys away in the condo each night. For the life of me, I could not figure out which cat was leaving at least four toys at the side of the bed each night.

Duane solved the mystery for me today. Apparently he has seen our cat Gus bring a toy upstairs and to try and entice our youngest cat, Cleo, to play during the night. When she doesn't take the bait, he leaves the toy on the floor and goes to retrieve another one in hopes it might work.  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

It may not be working so well for Gus, but all I can think is how well Cleo has him trained. Let's see, he just brings her gifts over and over until she deems one acceptable? That would work for me!

Super Saturday

Once upon a time weekends were restful - and then we had kids. Today has been filled to the brim with kid activities and I don't know what we would have done without Grandma and Grandpa P.'s help!  The kids had back to back soccer games in the cold rain today, and wouldn't you know it, the times overlapped with the start of the school festival that Duane and I were helping to run. Enter the grandparents! They met us at the soccer fields, sat in the cold rain, fed the kids and dropped them off at the school afterwards. Seriously, could they be more wonderful? I think not.

Now I just need to sit on the couch and relax all night.

Wesley with two of his teammates/school friends hanging out under the biggest umbrella

Photo booth props at the school festival

So excited!

Wha-a-a-t???

Two of my favorite mommy friends hamming it up for the coconut shy

Duane and I getting ready to run the Minecraft slingshot

Got some bling in my hair

Wesley went whole hog with his hair color

I actually kind of like the blue hair on him.

A couple of Wesley's classmates getting "arrested"

Hi There

I feel like I've been pretty lousy about keeping the blog up to date lately. It's partly because we just cruising along in our routine right now and partly because our routine is kind of nuts. It used to be that December was the only month that got out of control busy. Then it became December and October, with Halloween becoming nearly a month long celebration. Now it's December, October and April that keep us on our toes.

Sundays are generally taken up with church in the morning. We love our church and have gotten more and more involved, so between teaching Sunday School once a month, staffing the Welcome Center, meeting with our small group, and children's choir (which just ended) we stay pretty busy. Once home, it's trying to keep up with laundry, projects around the house, and yard work.

Mondays are scout nights and once a month Duane plays cards with the guys.

Tuesdays are Wesley's soccer practice, which can be good or bad. Wesley is not the strongest player on the team and he's recently become aware of the fact that many of the kids are better players, which is kind of rough for him. He loves being with his best friend though, and most of the time he enjoys himself. Game days are fine and he doesn't complain about going to practice or games, so I'm still counting this one as a win.

Wednesdays are Ryan's soccer practice. His generally go just fine. He has lots of his buddies on the team and the biggest challenge there is keeping them focused and trying to get Ryan to leave his shirt on. Don't ask.

Thursdays are supposed to be an off night, but I'll sometimes have PTA or we need to start prepping cakes or something for the weekend.

Fridays are grocery shopping nights and Wesley's ukulele lessons.

Saturdays bring two soccer games, I'm trying to power walk at some point and we're either doing house stuff, or trying to do something with the kids. This weekend will bring the school carnival, which Duane and I are very involved in setting up, working and tearing down.

So that's why the blog has been quiet. I'm going to try to post more, but even though this is supposed to be about our life as a family, sometimes life just gets in the way, 

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama.

I did not send Duane a text one night even though I KNEW his phone was on the kitchen counter and not with him. And I certainly wasn't confused when I kept hearing the text alert and it wasn't coming from my phone.

I know I did not ask the hubby of one of my best friends to meet me at the furniture store so he could look over the furniture I want to buy and then help me pick out paint colors. That would be a little weird, right?

I certainly didn't finish a 5K one morning, then go home and immediately eat a donut. Didn't happen.

I was not mildly jealous when Ryan woke up one weekend morning and crawled in bed with Duane instead of snuggling with me in my chair like he does almost every weekend.

C-Ville 5K

Yesterday I did my first 5K of the year - only my second race ever. It was a fundraiser for the school PTAs in our part of the city, so it was definitely for a good cause.

Pre-race picture

Some of my high school friends who also did the race - which happened to start at our old high school!

Some of my friends I've met in the PTA (and I really need sportier sunglasses for races)

Another classmate - who wasn't running the race, but is running for mayor!

I was in slightly better shape for this race than for the first one I did back in November. I've been taking Zumba classes once a week and I've been trying to walk for an hour or so on the weekends (although it's still a new thing since spring has only just sprung.) But I improved from my first race! And one of my friends who races regularly said that this one was a tough course because it was pretty hilly.

Back in November I did the 5K in 47:32, so 41:07 is not too bad!

We did it!!!

My race swag

So what's next? Two fun races that I've heard you can't really time, but are just a blast to do. Then I'll probably look for more serious walk late in the summer or early fall.  I'm not about to become a runner, but I can walk with the best of them!

The Smeller is the Feller

On our way home from a friends house this evening, we drove past a place that sells nothing but mulch. As one might imagine, even with the windows up on our truck, the air was still rather fragrant. 

"Ooo. Smell that air!" Duane said.

I laughed and turned around to see if the boys were reacting to the not so fresh air.

They were both sitting quietly, but when Ryan caught my eye he immediately said, "It wasn't me!"

Maybe not this time, kid. But we know where the blame usually lies.

Breakfast Choices

Ryan doesn't eat a lot of meat. Pretty much just nuggets, grilled or sautéed chicken that he can dip in BBQ sauce, and an occasional piece of pork (also in sauce). Oh! And bacon! He also refuses eggs in any form.

Wesley is a total carnivore - pork, beef, elk, chicken. At the very least he'll try it. He loves bacon and sausages though. And he loves eggs.

Why am I telling you this? To put the following conversation in perspective.

Wesley turned to Ryan over breakfast and asked, "If you HAD to choose one for breakfast - a big plate of eggs and bacon, or a big plate of eggs and sausage - which would you choose?"

"Definitely the eggs and bacon," Ryan answered.

"But you don't like eggs! And you'd have to eat them!" Wesley cried triumphantly.

"No I wouldn't," was Ryan's calm reply. "I'd let them sit on the plate and get cold while I slammed all the bacon."

Well, the boy know what he likes.

Park It!

It turned cool and cloudy last evening, but that didn't stop the boys and I from taking a quick (and much needed) trip to the park.

Strrrreeeeettch

Have skates will travel

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama.

I did not march in place for a good part of the evening just so I could meet my 10,000 steps on a day it was raining too much to walk outside.

There is no way a small part of me was a a teeny bit glad when Wesley stepped on a Lego in his bare feet because that meant he got an idea of what it's like when he doesn't clean up the toy area.

I know I didn't buy a bag of pistachios to use in a couple of recipes only to end up eating nearly the entire bag before I had time to bake.

I have not planned my entire living room, new curtains and paint color included, around furniture that we have picked out but aren't even close to buying yet. And I don't go to furniture store to "visit" it.

I was not a wee bit proud of myself for walking 3.5 miles in about 40 minutes. I'm way too lazy to be impressed by something like that.

I did not look at a nice, healthy smoothie recipe and think to myself, "Wow, I bet that would be good with a little rum or vodka in it."

I did not misplace my earbuds only to later find them "put away" in the toothpick container in the spice cupboard. That would have made perfect sense, right?

Tastes Like Chicken

Did you see the article today about the toddler who fell 10 feet into the cheetah enclosure at the Cleveland zoo?  Thank goodness the child is not seriously injured (and neither are the cheetahs.) However, it's come out that the child's mom was dangling/holding the child over the protective barrier and over the enclosure.

After sharing this story with Duane, I turned to Wesley and said, "We never lifted you over the safety barrier, no matter how close you wanted to get to the animals. It's just too dangerous to do."

Ryan joined the conversation by asking, "What about me? Did you ever do it to me?"

"Oh yeah," Duane told him. "But first we dipped you in barbeque sauce, then hung you over the edge by your ankles and called, 'Come and get him!'"

Ryan just rolled his eyes at Duane, but all I could think was, "Great. There's another therapist session we'll be paying for."

My Skeleton is Out of the Closet

Every parent has things they either don't want their kids to know, or aren't sure how they will explain to their kids when whatever it is becomes known. Maybe you used to party too hard. Maybe you cut classes all the time. Maybe you dropped out (or flunked out) of school. Maybe you were the class bully. Maybe you were a reckless driver. Maybe you had abortion or gave a child up for adoption. It doesn't matter who you are - or were once upon a time - there's something you are eventually going to have to tell your kids about.

My something has been my first marriage. I'm not ashamed of it. The relationship ended because I changed so much and eventually fell completely out of love with him. And I learned a lot from that time. I learned what really matters to me, what I truly value in a relationship and I what I needed from a life partner. I don't know that I would have the happy marriage I currently do if I hadn't learned so much during the first one.

That being said, I have long dreaded the day I would have to tell my kids that I was married once before. Part of me dreaded the questions I believed would follow the revelation. Part of me dreaded (the idea of) them judging me, as seeing me as less than perfect in one more way. 

Turns out I worried over nothing at all. 

Last night Duane was on the phone with a company that I have had an account with for ages - since I was married before. There was a little confusion about the name on the account because my maiden name and my name from my previous marriage both start with the same letter. When Duane and I got married, I took my maiden name as my middle name. This company saw my "new" middle initial and assumed it was for my previous last name. We were trying to explain all this to the person on the other end of the line (and really, all we needed was for them to reset something on their website for us.) as we went round and round about it, Duane finally said "(previous last name) was her name from her first marriage."

Both boys turned to stare at me. 

"You were married before?" Wesley asked me wide-eyed.

I took a deep breath and replied, "Yes, I was married to someone else once upon a time. It didn't work out. That marriage ended, then later Daddy and I got married and had you guys."

"Huh," said Ryan.

I plunged ahead. "Any questions?"

"Yeah," Ryan answered. "Was your last name really (incredibly difficult last name from my previous life)?"

"Yep."

"Huh," he said again.

And that was it. They both moved on. No more questions and now my closet has more room for cute shoes.

The Downside of Parenting

Let me preface this post by saying that I love my children desperately. I wouldn't trade them for anything and woe to anyone who tries to hurt them because I would go crazy on your @$$.

But I don't always love being a parent. In fact, sometimes it kind of sucks.

I hate the back and forth guilt that I always feel as a working parent - if I'm home, I feel like I should be at work, but if I'm at work, I wish I was spending time with the kids. Especially when they are on vacation and it's a normal work week for me.

And there are the times I try to plan something special to do as a surprise for them and they inevitably end up fighting and then we can't do the special thing because it would be rewarding their bad behavior. It puts me in a horrible mood because it's usually something I wanted to do as well, but the whole family has to be punished.

I hate having to nag about the state of bedrooms, and homework, and telling them to just eat their freakin' vegetables already.  I hate that I have to break up fights and remind them over and over and over to clean up their messes.

I want the fun parts of parenthood! I guess that means I want to be a grandparent.

Ryan Short Story

Ryan ended up with a little more than $15 at the end of Easter Sunday. Since he is a kid who cannot save a penny, that money lasted for less than 24 hours. He bought a Lego set at Target tonight.

Normally Ryan doesn't have any issues putting Legos together. I mean, he's scary good at them. But for some reason the new set was giving him a bit of trouble.

"Ugh!" he said, tossing the booklet aside in frustration. "This is giving me a brain ache!" 

I know exactly what he means.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama.

I did not go a shopping spree for warm weather clothes and still managed to spend an extra 20 minutes on a work morning trying to figure out what to wear because it isn't warm enough for the clothes I bought. That would make no sense.

I did not honestly forget how old my youngest child was. And I didn't alternately convince myself that he was 6, 7, and 8 within a 2 minute time frame.

When I overheard Wesley tell Ryan to stay out of a certain folder because it was full of his private stuff, my first reaction was not "I've got to get my hands on that folder!" I must be more mature than that.

I did not decide to completely opt out of dying Easter eggs this year just because I didn't want to be stuck figuring out what to do with all the hard boiled eggs the kids won't eat. That would have been a bit selfish since the kids enjoy it so much.

I know I wasn't so tired one night that I went to sleep on the couch, but set an alarm to wake me up when it was time to send the kids (and myself) to bed.

I Think I Spilled the Jelly Beans

I am both glad and embarrassed that both of my boys still wholeheartedly believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Or at least both of them used to wholeheartedly believe. 

Duane and I stayed up late last night filling plastic eggs and Easter baskets. We have to make sure each boy has the same number of eggs and the same egg innards. We hide the eggs on different levels of the house and make sure each egg has either an R or a W on it so there is no confusion.

It was well after 11:00 when we were hiding the eggs. Duane took care of hiding Wesley's eggs and I hid Ryan's. When I finished, I did a double check and discovered that one of the eggs I hid had a W on it - which messed the whole count up. I took the W egg to Duane and we started searching for the missing R egg. After several minutes of not finding any, Duane checked the egg I had handed back to him.

"This has an R on it," he said, laughing.

I figured I was just tired, so I took the egg back, hid it again and went to bed.

This morning as Ryan was busily searching for his egg, he found an egg with a W on it. 

"Why did the Easter Bunny give me a W egg?" he asked.

"Maybe we were one of the last houses and the Easter Bunny was getting tired and made a mistake," I answered. I wasn't about to throw that bunny under the proverbial bus.

Ryan dutifully took the egg downstairs and handed it to his brother. Wesley took the egg, turned it over to open it and noticed that, while it had a W on one side, it had an R on the opposite one! That explained so much!

"Um...what's going on with this?" Wesley asked.

I had to think fast.

"Maybe the Easter Bunny wanted you to share that one," I said, praying it was an egg that held candy and not one of the coupons that the Easter Bunny brings.

The boys opened the egg and, sure enough, there was candy inside. One piece of candy. Luckily Ryan was in a generous mood and snapped that chocolate bunny in half so they could share it, just as the Easter Bunny intended.

I figured the "crisis" had been adverted, but it was a pretty amusing story and I decided to share it with my mom when we stopped back by her house this evening. I told her the whole story, then went outside where Duane and the boys were. Or at least, where I thought Duane and the boys were. As I headed towards the door, I saw that Ryan had been sitting very quietly in the steps - definitely within earshot of where I had been talking to Grandma. My mom and I exchanged panicked looks, then I collected Ryan and headed home.

When we got home, I took Ryan upstairs to my bedroom for a talk.

"So, Ryan. Did you hear what I was telling Grandma?"

"Yes."

Great.  "Do you know what that means?"

Ryan thought for a moment. "Yes. It means that you hid the Easter Eggs."

"Do you have anything you want to ask me?" I asked, fully preparing myself to have to admit that the Easter Bunny isn't real.

"Yes," Ryan answered. Oh boy, here it comes. "Why did you blame it on the Easter Bunny when you were the one who was so tired and mixed up the eggs?"

"You're right. I should have said I was the one who mixed them up." And yes, I am perfectly aware that didn't really answer the question. "Anything else you want to ask me?"

"Nope."

"And you don't need to tell your brother about this conversation, okay?"

"Okay, Mom. Can I go play Skylanders now?"

So I pretty much blew it for my youngest kid. The good news is that he doesn't seem traumatized by it at all. In fact, while I think I completely spilled the (jelly) beans, I'm not sure Ryan has really processed it all. Is it bad that part of me is thinking "well, maybe that means I won't have to be quite so secretive next year?"

Happy Easter

We had a wonderful and blessed Easter this year. Lots of family, friends, and food. Lots of music and love and all around wonderfulness.

The Easter Bunny got clever in hiding eggs this year

Ryan was VERY excited to get a Baymax

Origami Yoda and origami paper for Wesley

A whole egg full of black jelly beans, just for Wesley

Then it was off to church where Wesley sang with the children's choir for all three services

My handsome guys!

This is what starts to happen when a bunch of kids are hyped up on sugar and waiting to sing for the third service

We spent some time with Grandma and Grandpa H.'s to see folks

Wesley and Ryan with our Easter guest, Taryn

Well, the sweets go in the basket, right?

With Great Aunt Carol

 

Just....don't ask

We spent the rest of the day relaxing and indulging at Grandma and Grandpa P.'s. It was a full, happy house!

Hope you all had a Happy Easter too!