Valentine's Day is tomorrow and if there was a Grinch for this holiday, I'm sure it would be me. I have kind of a love hate relationship with Valentines Day. I love the idea of Valentines Day. I love the candy and the declarations of love. When Duane and i both used to take the day off work and spend it together, I really enjoyed it.
But I hate the pressure of it - of having to have this one big romantic day. Maybe it's because I'm a grown up or maybe it's because I'm still grieving the loss of Sanders, but I'm kind of dreading tomorrow. It just doesn't feel like a holiday or really anything too special. The kids have their Valentines ready for their classmates. I'm planning a special breakfast for the kids that Duane and I are going to bake tonight after they go to bed and we're going out to dinner as a family at our favorite Mexican place that we haven't been to in months, but that's it.
I asked Duane not to do anything for me for Valentines Day because we just bought a very expensive fridge and our mortgage payment is twice what it was and I know it's a Hallmark holiday. I'm trying to be practical, but part of me is ticked off about it, and them I'm ticked off at being ticked off.
And yes, Duane is aware he married a psycho and is in a damned if he does, damned if he doesn't situation.
And every time I think of tomorrow, all I can think about are my friends that must feel like this holiday is mocking them personally, the friends who have lost their husbands or their children. Here I am grouching that the day doesn't feel special to me when I know they would give anything to spend one more Hallmark holiday with their loved one. Which just makes me feel more Grinchy.
Ugh. Can we skip to the 15th?
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