Summer is Slipping Away

I'm having a really hard time dealing with the passing of summer this year. It's strange for me, because autumn is by far my favorite season. I adore girly dresses, but I really think I was born to wear jeans and a sweater/long sleeve shirt. I don't like baseball, but love to watch football. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays (in fact, I already have some Halloween craft books checked out from the library). I love the colors. I love the smell. I love shopping for school supplies - still do. All the same, I'm having a really hard time giving up summer.

Maybe it's because for the first time in years I had something that resembled a summer vacation. Yes, it's because we had to work child care around Grandma H.'s surgery and recovery, but it was still fun. We've done so much this summer and I'm not sure I'm ready to give it all up.

Aside from the whole "I had fun and now it's time to get back to the real world" aspect, there is the fact that Wesley starts preschool in a couple of weeks. He NEEDS preschool so badly and I'm glad he's going to be going, but I can't get it out of my mind that next year at this time he'll be starting Kindergarten!!! And I'm so scared for him starting preschool. I know what an amazing kid he is, but what if the teachers and the other kids don't realize it? What if he doesn't make any new friends? What if he hates it there? I think what's hardest for me about it all is the fact that I feel like I'm giving up some kind of control. From the time he starts preschool there's going to be a whole facet of his life that I won't get to really be a part of. I won't know what really goes on - just hear about it through his filter and that of his teachers. It's a little scary for me. OK, Heather, deep breath. It's going to be fine. Better than fine. It's going to be great.

Back to my "summer is ending" lament. For some reason I'm having a hard time seeing autumn as anything but a prelude to winter this year. I hate winter. I hate being cold. I hate driving in the snow. I hate the fact that it is dark so much of the time. I craved spring in the worst possible way this year and I can almost feel winter weighing down on me with every sign of fall. UGH.

But before I give in to summer's end, I have a few more things to check off my "to do" list. I need to go to the bunny park. I need to go the farmer's market again. I want to make another batch of homemade ice cream. I must get back to the pool a couple more times. I need to eat a BLT with corn on the cob. I'm just not ready to let go yet.