My Own Seven Dwarfs

Quick! Can you name all the seven dwarfs? I even provided a cheat sheet picture for you in case you have forgotten these classic Disney men. 

Are you done? 

In the above picture you will find, Doc, Sneezy, Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Sleepy and Grumpy. I didn't even have to look up their names - a sad, but true fact.

Unfortunately, I am having a bit of a battle with my own seven dwarfs and they are not nearly as cute, nor as musical, as the ones above. I call my dwarfs Frumpy, Bitchy, Saggy, Wrinkly, Lazy, Mopey and Worrywart. They seem to have moved in to my body/mind and taken over lately like they do most every year towards the end of winter.

Frumpy dwarf hates all my clothes. All of them. Frumpy heaves many sighs whenever I look in my closet to get dressed and immediately discards everything as "too cold, too old, makes you look fat, makes you look even older, or just plain ugly."  Frumpy is a very cheap dwarf and will make me feel exceedingly guilty if I actually go out and purchase any clothing that may make him/her go away.  Frumpy also picks on my hair and my make up and my shoes and makes me feel much older than 41.

Bitchy dwarf raises her voice all the time because she can't stand being stuck in the house anymore. She yells at the kids and picks fights with my hubby. I work pretty hard to keep her in check, but she manages to slip out of the closet I shut her in and say cutting or mean things. I hate her.

Saggy dwarf is, unfortunately, here to stay. I can often ignore Saggy, but with a trip to the beach coming up this summer, Saggy is making me acutely aware of how much lower my breasts are hanging these days and makes me a bit self conscious about how that bathing suit is going to look come June. Saggy recommends a new supportive bathing suit, but Frumpy won't let her go out and get one for me. 'Besides,' Frumpy says. "All supportive suits are ugly."  Saggy has also been quick to point out that I'm starting to get a wee bit jowl-y around the jaw line and maybe I should do something about that.

Wrinkly dwarf is Saggy's twin. Wrinkly likes to make me very aware of the fact that, no matter how cute my nail polish is, my hands are starting to look old. Wrinkly also brought to my attention that I have a number of lines across my forehead that don't go away and are very pronounced in pictures. Wrinkly is settling in for a good, long stay.

Lazy dwarf can't get motivated to do anything. This is the dwarf that sat in a chair for two hours over the weekend and didn't nap or read or anything - just sat there. Lazy finds it hard to get up and go to work or to exercise class or even to get out of bed some days lately.

Mopey dwarf is Lazy's first cousin. When the two of them team up, I fight myself generally uninspired to do anything or see anyone. I start to lose my taste for food and begin to dislike things that generally bring me pleasure. I'm pretty sure it's Mopey's fault when I lose interest in puzzles or baking or books and start finding excuses not to go places or do things.

And finally, we have Worrywart. Worrywart is most likely to come around when the other dwarfs are here. This dwarf causes me lose sleep over stuff I have no control over and over little trivial things that I know better to believe when these dwarfs aren't visiting. Worrywart will keep me awake stressing over whether I am a good mom or if I have somehow damaged my children, about what I would do if Duane were to die suddenly, about various diseases and illnesses that could befall me or my loved ones, and about whether or not I am any good at my job. Worrywart likes me too tired to function well because it helps the other dwarfs get comfortable.

Now before any of you start to worry too much, yes, I am taking an antidepressant and yes, I get like this every winter.  I'm trying to look at it with a touch of humor because if not, Crazy dwarf may come knocking on the door, and I just don't have enough room for eight dwarfs. Good thing most of these dwarfs will disappear when the winter weather goes away. If only they'd remember to take Saggy and Wrinkly with them.